un visitante inoportuno

So a funny thing happened late last night…

I woke up to the sound of rain—that’s not the funny part.  Then I felt something cool and wet drop on my leg.  I was in that state of consciousness halfway between awake and asleep, so I merely thought it strange, closed my eyes and continued sleeping. 

I don’t know how much time later, I was awakened again by a cool, wet spot on me.  Since it was still raining, I thought it possible that my ceiling had developed a leak.  I was awake enough to notice, but too asleep to do anything about it.  So I closed my eyes to resume unconsciousness. 

The next time I awoke to the newly familiar cool, wet sensation, it was about 5:45am.  I was more alert since it was almost time to get up.  I felt the wet spot on my leg, so I reached down and felt for it.  I picked up something strange and unidentifiable by touch alone.  I brought it closer to my face. It was dark, and I did not have my glasses so I could only see a vague outline.  It looked and felt like a wet, shriveled up flower or something.  Not satisfied with this guess, I reached for my cell phone and shined its light on the subject.  Still not good enough.  Finally, I sat up, put on my glasses, and turned on my light.  The uncertainty was killing me.  I looked down at my bed and saw an eye.  This was definitely not a flower!

It was, in fact, a mangled coquí frog!—slimy, cool, and with something like guts protruding from its mouth!  I immediately jumped out of bed, grabbed a tissue to pick it up with, and threw it in the garbage.  After a minute of pondering how a dead coquí wound up in bed with me, I concluded that it must have hopped on the box fan at the foot of my bed, gotten sucked through (probably killed or fatally wounded in the process), and landed—SPLAT!—on me.  Gross!  I took a deep breath, collected myself, and managed to sleep for the few minutes I had left before my alarm.

(Now for those of you who are not familiar with the famous Puerto Rican coquí…it is the national symbol of the island.  It is a tiny frog that chirps all night long.  Some people find this charming and say that it lulls them to sleep, but I beg to differ.  It is one of the most annoying sounds I know.  If there is one chirping outside my window or on my porch, it will drive me crazy and steal precious hours of my sleep.)

I’ve tried to warn the coquís to stay off my porch…and especially out of my apartment, but some of them just don’t want to listen. 

Let this be a lesson to you tiny frogs:  If you come into my home, you will not live to regret it!