One day during writing class this week, I asked my students to make a list of hard times they’ve had in their lives. As usual, I used that time to write as well.
The following is one of the hard times that made it on my list:
It’s not easy being a teacher of deaf children while simultaneously learning sign language.
This week, my frustrations with communication have come to the forefront. I have so many things I want to explain to my kids…so much I want to ask them…so many of their questions I want to answer—but so often, I can’t.
How many more times will I have to stop a conversation with my students to say, “Wait,” while I look up a sign on the slow computer or run to the teacher next door and ask her—and feel at that exact moment, that any momentum we had is lost? For how much longer will I stare at a student during a conversation and understand all the signs she is using, but have no idea what she is talking about? How many more times will my students decide it is not worth the effort to ask me a question or tell me about what is going on in their lives? How many more attempts will I make to explain something and be met with blank stares—at which point I am forced to respond by saying, “Never mind,” and lose yet another teachable moment?
And just as the tears of frustration are welling up in my eyes, I am reminded that God is in control, and He brought me here for a reason. Then I page through a pocket ASL dictionary and realize just how much I have learned in a month. A reassuring feeling comes over me, and I become more confident that one day I will be able to teach an entire class without giving or receiving a puzzled look.
I look at my students every day and thank God that He gave me such patient and helpful kids to help me through these frustrations.
Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers!
Elizabeth - It is important to remember that you too, are a student learning. Going through this experience will help you to empathize the frustrations your students go through to try to communicate with you and others who do not know how to sign. Remember that patience is a virtue. You are doing God's will and he is by your side, guiding you.
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling this very same way while attending the National Technical Institute for the Deaf. I had so many things I wanted to share in class discussion, so many conversations I wanted to understand, and so many missed opportunities. But the Lord used them all and is still teaching me so much! And it gave me a fantastic understanding of what my students go through daily! Looking back I feel blessed to have had the opportunity. In a hearing program I would not have been able to learn those lessons! I am praying for you and I'm glad to read how God is continue to grow you!
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